Too Big To Fail...

Let me just start by saying that, try as I might (and I do try) I am not much of a baker.

I love the IDEA of baking... The thought of spending an afternoon or a late night listening to music, sipping wine and baking a cake sounds so romantic.

Productive.
Creative.
Deeply nurturing.
It sounds like the person I want to be.

Smash cut to reality, like an episode of 30 Rock!

Flour-covered measuring cups strewn all over flour-covered kitchen...

A five pound bag of sugar upended because, naturally, I forgot to roll it closed...

Recipe book open, pages glued together with drying egg...

The wall beside the Kitchenaid mixer Jackson Pollocked with cake batter from when I thought I was turning off the motor as I lifted out the arm, but instead was turning it to high...

It is a sad state of affairs when your face, hair, shirt, and even your bra are covered in olive oil cake batter and there is no one to help, let alone lick it off. Gaah!


The worst part of my romantic delusion, is that, in my head, I am a bad-ass, Iron Chef challenge baker. Recipe looks really difficult? Sign me up! A cake always seems like a better idea when the recipe is too complex to fail...

Right before Christmas there was this great article in the New York Times about women in Alabama who make these crazy layer cakes. For the three of you readers who have been along since the beginning, you know that I am particularly obsessed with layer cakes. I love that someone cares enough to make three, four or even fifteen layers of cake! And then Filling. And then frosting. And, layer cake being a southern phenomenon, many of them also include a significant amount of booze, which just makes me love them more.


So, back to that article. Naturally, I just HAD to make the caramel cake, because Nancy McDermott, the author of "Southern Cakes" described the boiled icing as "just a demon to make." Who wouldn't want to immediately abandon all other projects to make a demon cake?

Particularly a demon cake that involves Hot Caramel: The Other Napalm! (I am a scarred veteran of the Hot Caramel Wars, people: See Croquembouche, one of the original "Too Big To Fail" baking projects... Scroll down for the step by step...)
You may be impressed, or more likely, troubled by the fact that I built an entire dinner for twenty around a cake that I didn't know how to make.

The really hilarious thing is that because I was feeding so many people (okay... It ended up being twenty-five) I had to make TWO layer cakes. Thinking back to numerous other baking disasters, I had a moment of clarity and figured I ought to make one caramel cake and another cake that I (gasp!) knew how to make, so, worst-case scenario, IF the caramel cake is totally fucked up, at least I will have an INSURANCE layer cake to feed the crowd á la loaves and fishes.
But what other cake? Something boozy. Something buttery. Something tall...

Egads!



I remembered that I WROTE the recipe for the perfect cake! I made the Lane Cake recipe from Forking Fantastic, but instead of dried fruits and nuts and the, um, bacon in the frosting, I just made it with butter, egg yolks, sugar, and vanilla. Oh, and BOURBON.


As you probably predicted when you began reading this post (because, let's face it, I'm no Agatha Christie,) The Caramel Cake... fine, but the icing? Kind of fucked up. The instructions about caramelizing half of the sugar and then adding the rest was a little bit strange. Also, so sweet it made my teeth hurt even to look at it, but the Lane Cake adapted?

RiDONKulous. Ri-fucking-diculously delicious.


Were both cakes listing slightly because the layers weren't even? Definitely.

Did I try to level it with more icing between the layers, making it more uneven? Oh, hells yeah.

Was there flour all over the kitchen and a horrible sugar spill that rivaled the Exxon Valdez? Ummm... what do you think?
Did it take me three hours to make two cakes? Nine to Noon, baby.



Oh.... right. Then there was the REST of the meal...



I had another lovely Middle Of The Night visit to the Hunts Point Fish Market to purchase oysters from my boyfriend John at Blue Ribbon Fish (Karl insists that all my boyfriends be purveyors). John suggested Wellfleets and Hemlocks, so that's what I bought...


When I got the oysters home at 3 AM (thanks to Mackenzie's sweet VW) I had planned to put them on the balcony (what I call "the walk-in") and quickly realized that the outside temperature was going down to 19 degrees, lethal to the little fellers. Fortunately, my friends at the corner restaurant, being awesome neighbors, kept the bags of oysters in their fridge overnight. The original plan for the oysters had been to grill them, but the frigid forecast killed that idea. Matt and Ted Lee's book gave me the idea to grill them about five years ago, and their fallback plan was to do them in boiling water in the oven. If it's good enough for The Lee Brothers, it is certainly good enough for ME!




So I put the oysters in hotel pans, poured in a little boiling water, and let them ride it out in a 475 degree oven for ten minutes or thereabouts. The first batch, only a few opened so I decided to throw them back in for two more minutes.

They all opened, and were partially cooked, warm and briny. PERFECT for the classic mignonette of shallots, black pepper, and red wine vinegar.


Since this was the first SND of 2010, I thought Hoppin' John would be a great addition. I combined 2 recipes-- Edna Lewis' from In Pursuit of Flavor, which calls for Ham Hock, onion, garlic, chili flake, black eyed peas and rice, and a Lee Brothers recipe which also adds tomatoes.

I added some slab bacon lardons for good measure. The result? Smoky, Spicy, rich bean and rice goodness. A GREAT way to start the new year!

I creamed some scallions (trimmed them, wilted in a little boiling water then reduced heavy cream and butter a bit and combined them)

Hoppin' John and Creamed Scallions!

Turnips got peeled, diced and were poached in pork stock with their tops, some radish tops and watercress, then finished with Bittersweet smoked paprika.

Karl made FABULOUS slaw from red and savoy cabbages, fennel, green apple and daikon radishes, apple cider vinegar, olive oil and fried pickling spices. It rocked.

Oh... and to start? Crusty bread slathered with butter, canned tomatoes and fresh garlic. I know... it sounds ghetto, but it is soooooo good! Think of it as the winter version of Pan Con Tomate.

Look at this beautiful crowd!

Look at this sexy-ass cake perched on this stunningly beautiful cake stand! (Thanks, Maria!)

Every Sunday Night Dinner crowd is different. There is never a 'bad' crowd, here. Sure, there is the occasional guest who doesn't "get it," treats us like The Help, and is subsequently disappointed with the quality of "service" and never returns.

This Crowd? Hall Of Fame.


The most fun, partying-est (not really a word, I know,) eat it all up (in a good way) crowd that I can recall. Truly excellent. Half old peeps, half new. Of the new guests, the Most Inspiring Award goes to Dave and Emma from Brighton, ENGLAND, who came after seeing us on Jamie Oliver's American Road Trip. They were so delightful, and had such a good time, and, most importantly, they willingly came to a house full of strangers to have dinner. They said it was the highlight of their trip, which made Karl cry.

And what did we learn?

1)According to a very nice police officer, if you are driving home from the fish market at 3 A.M., and there is a car accident BEHIND you you do NOT need to exit your car to be verbally abused by an old Greek man until the Po Po arrive. You are, in fact, free to drive away once you determine that no one was injured and you can tell the aforementioned old Greek man to Go Fuck Himself (in the nicest tone possible, of course.)

2) As safe as New York City is, you are wise to feel a teeny bit hinky when you are shopping for shellfish at the Hunts Point Market by your little lonesome at 2 A.M.

3) Oysters take about twelve minutes to open up in the oven, and they won't be overcooked so don't worry about that.

4) Oyster knives are DANGEROUS. (I'm looking at you, Annemarie...)


5) If you live in another state and come to Sunday Night Dinner it is right, good and proper to hit it off with two nice Astoria boys and crash on their sofa. Especially when you have teenagers at home. (I LOVE this woman. She is my HERO.)

6) I wrote a Fucking Delicious layer cake recipe.

7) Using my favorite enamel top table as a barrier/buffer/surface in the kitchen is seriously good for my mental health.

8) The Sunday Night Dinners In Astoria are going to be FABULOUS this year. Stay tuned.

Bulgur and Farro with Sage and Squash. A Recipe.

Photo Credit: Katja Heinemann

Are you sitting on a list of New Years resolutions, sweating and praying to get through the next week without breaking all of them? Did you vow to eliminate valuable and necessary staples in your life, like booze and butter?

You poor, poor child.


I don't make resolutions, but I try to think about everything I put into my body, even when it's a Pop Tart. The following is a recipe I wrote about a month ago for Saveur Magazine for a feature on Bulgur in this month's Saveur 100 issue.

I was heartbroken that it didn't make it to publication, but am thrilled to print it here because it is a)DELICIOUS, and b)Good for you.

The perfect cure for deep winter chill...


Enjoy!

Bulgur and Farro with Sage and Squash

Feel free to use either butternut or kabocha squash, depending on how late in the fall/winter you decide to make this dish. Browning the butter before sautéeing the onions and garlic will mirror the browned, caramelized butter on the roasted squash and will amplify the nutty flavor of both the farro and bulgur...

2 lb butternut or kabocha squash
Couple knobs of butter
2 shallots
2 cloves garlic
12 medium-sized ribs of swiss chard
20 fresh sage leaves (½ cup) chopped fine
1½ cups #3 bulgur
1¼ cups apple cider
1 cup chicken stock (or water)
½ cup faro
1½ cups water
Salt and pepper
Fresh grated parmesan cheese to taste

Cut butternut or kabocha squash in half scoop out the seeds and rub cut side with a little butter – just enough to coat it, and salt. The butter will help the squash caramelize. Put squash cut side down on a cookie sheet at 400 degrees for 35 minutes until soft but not overcooked. When squash is cooked, let it sit until cool enough to handle. Cut into pieces, cutting off the skin.

Chiffonade chard leaves into ribbons and set aside.

While squash is cooling, dice garlic, shallots, 12 sage leaves and the chard stems together.

Using a wide, heavy bottomed saucepan big enough to eventually handle all ingredients (4 quart is fine), take a good size knob of butter and melt on medium high heat until it begins to brown. Add shallots, garlic, chopped sage and chard stems and sautée until soft and translucent, about 5 minutes. Add bulgur and chard ribbons, stirring to coat with the butter shallot mix. Add apple cider, chicken stock, and a healthy pinch of salt and pepper. Bring a boil, stirring for 3 minutes, then cover, turn heat off and let bulgur absorb the liquid.

Cook farro in water with a pinch of salt and pepper for 20 minutes or until water is absorbed and farro is cooked.

Add farro and squash to bulgur mixture. Combine well without crushing squash. Finish with remaining chopped sage, a healthy pinch of salt and fresh grated parmesan cheese. Serve warm. Serves 4 as a main course, 6 as a side dish.

Season's Eatings!

Wrapping up 2009 several days late, here.

What can I say? I left town for the holidays and when I came home I got sucked into Season 11 of Dallas!

But, seriously... What with supporting the book, and all that that entailed, 2009 turned out to be one enormous media push, some assignments being more fun than others.

Now that it is over, I am here to say that all interviews are NOT created equal...

Here are six interviews that were incredibly fun to do:

The five week, December series that Zora and I did for WNYC's Brian Lehrer show answering holiday hosting questions and learning some beautiful things about our fellow New Yorkers and the way they like to entertain,











and here's another one for CBC Q, a nationally broadcast radio show in Canada., also available on Sirius 137...

CBC Q - Holiday Dinner Parties

Those Crazy Canadians! This was our longest radio appearance, clocking in at nearly twenty minutes, but the interview felt like comfortable dialogue. I am still amazed that I at least seem able to express myself in complete sentences... Both hosts, Brian Lehrer and Jian Ghomeshi, were incredibly generous and I would love to interview with either of them again.

Now, on to other ventures. More writing, some private chef clients, some catering, a food panel, teaching classes at Brooklyn Kitchen, and... Who knows?

I do know that I bought a BUNCH of cookbooks yesterday, so there'll be someone in the kitchen with Dinah! AND... This week I will be back at The Hunts Point Fish Market, selecting oysters and clams for this Saturday's Sunday Night Dinner.

Stay tuned.

Thanksgiving Warm-Up, Or, In Search Of The Loch Ness Pancake

You know that it's been a lousy summer, garden-wise, when your plants yield more tomatoes in October and November than they did ALL SUMMER.

Bizarro, indeed.

On the other hand, there is something deeply satisfying about being able to walk into your own backyard a few days before Thanksgiving and pick some green tomatoes, the last of the chard and the last of the dandy greens, then turn around, walk inside and prepare a beautiful fall dinner for twenty of you hungry people!

I had been flipping through one of my favorite cookbooks, Olives and Oranges by Sara Jenkins and Mindy Fox and found an intriguing recipe for Lamb Shoulder with Concord Grapes and Green Tomatoes. Grapes AND tomatoes? Hmmm...

Since there were green tomatoes galore in the backyard (ahem) and concord grapes still at the market, I figured why the hell not? The rest of the menu came together around that dish, along with the recipe for Tempura Fried Green Beans, only with Ponzu Sauce, not mustard, from the Sunday New York Times a few weeks earlier.

The invite:

Hungry Kiddies!

I am in a spit-roasted pig hangover/fog. Many thanks to those who made it and many apologies to those who I had to turn away. Roast pig really motivates you folks!!

So... there are still a bunch of things I have been thinking about, and the weekend before Thanksgiving seems to be the perfect opportunity! Think of this dinner as a chance to eat some really great food before you are forced to go to your annual pilgrimage home to your family's Thanksgiving dinner, and all of the "family recipes" that entails. I know that green bean casserole holds a special place in many of our hearts, but.... I think we can all admit that it isn't that mouth watering, right? Don't get me wrong- I will be right there eating 3 helpings of it on Thursday, but facts is facts. Karl and I are taking down the last remnants of the garden FOR REAL this week-- which means I need to use the rest of that chard, green tomatoes and dandy greens. Concord grapes are still in the market, so we need to eat those too, right?

The Menu:

• Tempura Green Beans with Ponzu
  (this was a staple dish at Fressen years ago-- it just appeared in the NYT and made me want it all over again)
• Turnips and their Tops in Miso Broth
• Dandy Green Salad from our garden!! with candied bacon and a mayonnaise-y dressing of sorts
• Swiss Chard with a touch of Chili Flake from the garden!
• Cauliflower with Anchovy Butter, an all time favorite of mine from Prune
• Slow Braised Lamb Shoulder with Concord Grapes and Green Tomatoes also from the garden!-- from Olives and Oranges by Sara Jenkins and Mindy Fox
• Israeli Cous Cous
• and
• Let's Try This Again, This Time with Pears, Swedish Oven Pancake
  

I sliced the tomatoes in half and sauteed them with garlic and a little olive oil, browning them on both sides.



I ended up using both lamb shoulder (with bones) and a boned out leg of lamb, cut into pieces. It seemed right to use both cuts for a)financial reasons and b)flavor/texture.


Some might say that it's a waste of a good leg of lamb to slow braise it, but I disagree. The leg breaks down slower than the shoulder does, and has a little more heft to it. The shoulder provides the bone marrow and the fat, and the leg gives you that full, rich lamb flavor.


The recipe is oddly simple -- I kept thinking, "Really? That's it?"



Salt, pepper, seared lamb, garlic and green tomatoes, concord grapes and white wine. That was it.



Covered it up, parked it in the oven and walked away. I think the total oven time was about three hours; About twice as long as the recipe called for, but I was also quadrupling the ingredients. When I finally pulled out the covered pot, the dish was glorious: Melt in your mouth.




Interestingly, the kitchen smelled of concord grapes, but the acid in the green tomatoes cut both the fruity flavor and the lamb fat very well. I only wish I hadn't waited until the end of grape season to make this! Damn. More next year.

We started with tempura green beans.

Hot, salty, tempura greenie beanies = excellent.

When I worked at Fressen, many, many moons ago, Chef Lynn McNeely served these with ponzu sauce and I loved them. I might have a problem, now that I know how easy they are to make... The batter is made with flour, egg whites and seltzer. And don't forget HOT oil for FRY-Tastic action!!!



I meant to make the ponzu sauce, but got too busy, and Karl ended up doing it. It was awesome, but I have no idea what he put in it. (Maybe, when he is done uploading the pictures, he will tell us...)

Karl sez: "- Three parts of each: soy sauce, lemon juice, mirin (sweet japanese rice wine) or you can cheat using dry sherry mixed with a little sugar, Two parts olive oil. One part chopped fresh ginger. Chopped lemon zest to taste"

Turnips And Their Tops in Miso Broth is a recipe from one of the final issues of Gourmet. Since I now really like baby turnips (a great surprise to me, since I hate many -- ok, almost ALL -- root vegetables,) the idea of serving them with a brothy version of miso butter (mirin, sherry, miso, butter and water) felt like a winner.



The bite of the turnip greens cuts through the miso broth perfectly-- and it's a gentle broth -- not quite a full-on soup. Ah, Gourmet... I miss you so. Fucking Conde Nast...

But I digress. The Israeli Cous Cous was recast as Saffron Scented Rice -- the perfect vehicle for the lamb juices.

The dandy salad was topped with candied bacon.


I know it seems like that is all we eat here, but I can assure you that is not the case. I will say, though, that the reason it is featured on the blog so much (I wonder how many posts include candied bacon?) is because it is FUCKING DELICIOUS.

"Aw, heck... not candied bacon AGAIN..."

I decided in the end that a mayonaise-y dressing would be overkill, so I just made a vinaigrette with cider vinegar, sugar, lemon juice, olive oil, pomegranate molasses, salt and pepper. It must have turned out okay, because I never got to eat any. It was gone by the time I got to the table...

Ah, Tamara Farms® chard...

The chard was so beautiful! I will definitely plant more next year... I was able to keep eating from the same plants the whole summer and fall by just picking the outer leaves and leaving the inner ones to grow. It was kind of painful to cut the last bit down. But delicious.


I just sauteed it lightly with garlic, olive oil and chili flake. Spicy and very green tasting, the perfect way to compliment the lamb.



Cauliflower with anchovy butter. I could eat this every day if I let myself. Cauliflower steamed, and then tossed with hot anchovy butter and a final squeeze of lemon.

And the Swedish Oven Pancake.


Karl refers to this delicious dessert/breakfast item as the Swedish Loch Ness Pancake. He loves to claim that it was only spotted once: the morning after the first time he stayed the night.


He CLAIMS that I only made The Loch Ness Pancake to seduce him into thinking I could bust moves both in the sack AND in the kitchen, and then I never, ever made it for him again.

I have NO IDEA what he is talking about.


Well, actually, there was a long period of time where it didn't turn up in the Web Search on the New York Times website, which is where I originally found it. Then, I couldn't find the yellowed, torn copy that I had ripped out of the paper.

It's basically an upside down pancake: Apples/pears sauteed with brown sugar, butter and a touch of calvados or brandy, then crepe batter is poured into the hot pan, and the whole shebang is tossed into a 425 degree oven for about 25 minutes. The pancake puffs waaaaay up, then when you pull it out it falls a little but not completely, and it's served hot.


Great, right? Yeah. A few dinners ago, I made it, but with plums. They looked so juicy and good. Well, they WERE juicy and good, so of course, since the crepe can't absorb all of that juice, it puffed a little and then went completely flat when I took it out of the oven, and looked like an eggy plum disaster. It was hands down the absolute worst looking thing I have EVER served. I actually considered not serving it, but it was late in the evening and I had no other option. However, miracle of miracles... it turned out REALLY DELICIOUS.

Looks and flavor? Not always related. Didn't Eddie Murphy make a similar argument about fucking ugly people? I think he did. In any case, this one came out pretty AND delicious...


A wonderful ending to a deeply flavorful and satisfying late fall dinner. Now that we have entered the season of nothing but root vegetables, I know I will look back at this post longingly.