Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Primary Day Cafe/Open House! One Night Only!

**please note: this was written before the FL election results were known. Not that that changes our intent, but now that Edwards is dropping out in a couple of hours I do feel slightly bad for kicking his hair while he is down, and who knew how bitter Giuliani could be???

From the Desk of Zora O'Neill:

Some of you may remember November 2004 and the glory that was Election Day Cafe. Even though we ended up with four more years of Bush, we at least enjoyed one full day of happiness while feasting on such patriotic dishes as chicken-fried steak, waffles, grilled-cheese sandwiches and, uh, cassoulet. Susannah, didn't you plot to assassinate the dude that day? What happened?

Well, now it's 2008, and we are not quite as crazy as we once were. Namely, we are _not_ waking up at the crack of ass to feed all you good little voters breakfast.

BUT we have concocted a lavish dinner to honor our diverse candidates, all best enjoyed by the glow of the TV as we follow the outcome of Super Tuesday.

Please join us anytime after 5pm for:

**Kucinich's All-Vegan Crudites--and because he dropped out, we feel like we can compromise his austere dietary vision with some dairy-based dip, or maybe even something with the actual flesh of little once-living anchovies (don't worry--it'll be on the side)

**Nachos--an Arizona treat from McCain...and Mizz Tamara of Phoenix. Whoa--McCain, rising like a phoenix? Never thought about that. Deep, dude--something to ponder while you crunch on these delectably cheesy things.

...Then we'll be moving on to a buffet dinner of:

**Chicago-style Chili--did you know Barack Obama said his favorite food to cook was chili? So fitting, when you think about it--a stew of disparate elements coming together, uniting, to be _changed_ into something miraculous and new. Oh whatever--gag me. But the chili will be delicious.

**Tortillas--more influence from McCain, but don't assume that means we want to vote for him!

**Spoonbread--this southern-style grits concoction is a nod to John Edwards's South Carolina roots, but also, in its fluffiness, to his hair.

**A nice green salad of Boston Bibb lettuce--that's for you, Mitt! And to honor the Mormon's change of opinion in the 1980's, black malden salt for judicious sprinkling!

**Huckabee's creationist special: Garden of Eden fruit salad (heavy on the apples)

...And for dessert:

**Chocolate-chip cookies, made from Hillary Clinton's own recipe from 1992, back when she was trying to kiss ass after disparaging women who just "stay home and bake cookies."

**Pecan pie with a lard crust--that's for you, Bill, even though you're *not* running.

Wash it all down with some coffee, if you like--Giuliani recommends you take it black and _bitter_. (We were going to make pasta puttanesca, aka whore's pasta, for Rudy, but it didn't really get along with the rest of the meal. Whaddya know.)

We'll also be supplying beer, because that somehow seems more American (and goes with chili better). We're not anticipating having to cap the numbers, since this isn't a sit-down thing, and it's a school night, but please RSVP right away if you want to come, just in case we're totally deluded.

And when you're headed to the ballot box this coming Tuesday, remember the immortal words of Julia Child: "Why don't you stuff it yourself!"

Primary Day Cafe and Open House anytime after 5pm
Reynolds/Wasserman Halfway House for Edwards and Obama Supporters

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